I know it's not common to write here in english...but there's an english mess in my head...words...phrases...and all about the same...
sometimes I wonder if I really need this...if I need to go through it...will it come to any sensible point?
the answer frightens me...and I want to escape from it...
I love him...he said he loves me too...but where is his love? it got lost between the lines that had been written...so many lines...so many sentences...about love...about us being together...lines that make you happy when you read and that couse sorrow and pain when you think them over later...
he...he is the one I need...he is the one I want...I want my son to have his eyes...it will never happen...the worst is that I realize it...I do realize but i can't get over him...
I love him...and I hate him...I hate how he disappears for days...or weeks...I hate when he says he misses me...I hate how he cuts me over and over again...I hate how weak he makes me...I hate that i depend on him...I hate that I BELONG TO HIM!!
I can't concentrate on anything...he is everywhere...in my head,in the air I breath,in my eyes,in my heart,in my room...in my pc...in my earphones...on my desktop!!!
uh...one day!! I know one day I'll be strong enough.....
sometimes I wonder if I really need this...if I need to go through it...will it come to any sensible point?
the answer frightens me...and I want to escape from it...
I love him...he said he loves me too...but where is his love? it got lost between the lines that had been written...so many lines...so many sentences...about love...about us being together...lines that make you happy when you read and that couse sorrow and pain when you think them over later...
he...he is the one I need...he is the one I want...I want my son to have his eyes...it will never happen...the worst is that I realize it...I do realize but i can't get over him...
I love him...and I hate him...I hate how he disappears for days...or weeks...I hate when he says he misses me...I hate how he cuts me over and over again...I hate how weak he makes me...I hate that i depend on him...I hate that I BELONG TO HIM!!
I can't concentrate on anything...he is everywhere...in my head,in the air I breath,in my eyes,in my heart,in my room...in my pc...in my earphones...on my desktop!!!
uh...one day!! I know one day I'll be strong enough.....
жизнь не устает издеваться надо мной!! 
